There is still have a lot to work to do but I’m not quitting. I still remain confident to change for the better. Needing to see continual progress for that change to materialize. I have started a routine taking back my life. Having my creativity to help exercise my emotions is working out well. I am conscience of the cleanliness of the house as well as the stability. Same goes for work. And I don’t not mix the two anymore. It was too caustic. Work is busy but that is good.
I have vowed to show my wife a new and stronger man who is ready to love again. One who can take the roller coaster of everyday life and ask for more. A person that is good hearted and able to control the things that can and to let the rest go. To not need anyone rather to want. To smile and embrace life one day at a time.I do know the person I am going to be. (Part my dad and partly not. Dad is a great man full of energy and with his age comes wisdom. To cherish the laughter of a child and the blisters on his hands. But more caring at the same time. Mostly just the responsible hard working after work kind of guy.) I feel reborn no longer turning to substances rather substance.
We are going out for lunch Thursday and a Friday visit to a museum. What comes next? What ever feels natural. I do see the person I am. Now I want it to be more than that. Not feeling as lost right now. But I do want to discover what else I could be. I was on my way after the military. (just from a daily routine and responsibility stand point. Lol I hated the military no creativity! Felt like a number.) I just took and extended vacation. I am going to be myself and nothing less.
I love you Amy!
God please enable me to remain focused
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1 comment:
'couple of questions Robert..
Seems like you're doing a great job in "waking up", and attempting to get control of your life again.
(quotes you...)
---> your statement
<--- my comment...
--->I have vowed to show my wife a new and stronger man who is ready to love again.
<-- it wasn't my impression that you were "not loving", but more of one that you were doing the modern version of the TV "Couch potato", by parking yourself in front of a video game...
(your view???)
--> To not need anyone rather to want.
<-- Well there is one person you need to "be able" to NEED, that is...(fill in the blank here....)
--->I feel reborn no longer turning to substances rather substance.
<--- Substance abuse (in moderation) CAN be fun, ESPECIALLY if shared with your spouse!
--> God please enable me to remain focused
<-- Sorry, he has nothing to do with this, it's ALL you!
<-- I once had a similar shock from my spouse, and it did wake me up to how I felt about her, and what needed to be done to "keep" her.
Not a day goes by since that time, years ago, that I don't try and tell her at least 5-10 times a day that I love her, appreciate her, and am very pleased she chose ME to spend her life with (not all, not Every variation, but you get the point)...
Oh, and as a former gaming professional (I used to own a gaming center)
I'd recommend researching a two player NON FPS(first person shooter) that might also interest your other half.
And I suggested two rolls of quarters and finding a full sized DDR machine to play with when you get together.
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