My wife of nine years will leave for six months this weekend. She says it to get a break; that I need to find out what is important in my life. Basically to become aware, live and be happy. She asks me if I am angry and I truly respond that I am not. How could I blame her? I've been ignoring her and haven't been there for her when she needed me the most. She does not want a divorce, rather to repair the marriage. She said a break is in order and just needs time to have some fun with her friends. As of this moment wanting no more that to just hang out and not talk about the relationship. My wife has changed. I really respect that and I want to be the husband she deserves. I long to be the person she knows I can be. But I have to play it cool. I cannot see sharing the wonder of life without her.
She wants to date again. Start anew and I am going to take this opportunity and never look back. This is my wake up call. Of all the accomplishments and awards this time is the most important time of all. Change is what I need and want. Oh I truly want to stare at the better stranger in the mirror. Be the better man she deserves. Knowing in the end if I do she will come back to me. I have to put her as a priority and she is. I want to share the rest of my life with her. But most of all I want to do this for myself. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I will lose it if I don't try. So many mistakes, so many regrets, but I can and will ascend this cliff. I know it. I just want her to be happy and be able to make her happy by pulling myself out of this fog and pray.
I have misplaced my substance to live and love. For all intense purposes I am already dead and I do not want to be intruded at such a fine hour. She is giving me the chance to find it again or to create one that will revive my soul. She has given me so much and now this gift.
