Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Rest
I worry for her. This change cannot be easy for her. She can keep her key if she feels the need to get away from her new roommates and I will leave so she can have her space. I also know she is in good hands but she needs more. She needs her rest. The rest of her life to be happy and loved. To have the husband she deserves. Have a home that is stable and strong. Now I have forced her to just a fifteen by fifteen room she can call her own. She will get the rest she needs and the support she wants. I hope I may have a place in her heart again and this time a larger part that has been earned. However I recognize a part of her heart has died. When I met her she would always say “love conquers all”. I hope she still believes that. If so, it will be able to embrace what has been missing far too long. Please Lord grant me the power to be strong so I may be the husband she deserves.
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1 comment:
Change is difficult for everyone.
(Bad joke here:
I used to beat my wife. Now I don't.
bad joke, because I've never ever touched her, in a fight, or any other time in anger)
However, I've seen the changes I needed to make over my 30 year marriage in my face.
One of them was growing up.
Another was understanding she needed space.
Another was making sure that I act my age, and not my penis size.
(that one took a moment for me to get right...)
At any rate What I'm trying to say is that I eventually realized that for US as a couple to work, I'd need to do serious changing.
Part of the changing that I did was related to my brain, and chemical makeup (having ADHD/and other disorders is NOT mental illness anymore!), that required assistance.
I like to tell others, that having medications, can be likened to being near(or far)sighted.
Glasses (medicines) DO NOT CURE the problem. However, they allow you to see what the problems are in your life, and to COMPENSATE for them.
I tell my son, he will live with needing medicines EVERY day until he dies. I suggest that he understands that it's a TOOL.
And someone brougbt up laser/lasik surgery. I said that for the past 200 years, GLASSES have been the TOOL that helps the near/farsighted
adjust to real sight.
it's only in the past 15 years, that we've been able to CURE the disease of "off-eyes"
We don't have the cure for brain things yet.
But being open to your spouse, like you are indicating , is a Great start....
Markbnj
Good Luck
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